The Power of Shared Wisdom

I guess if you live long enough, these things happen.  I became my family's patriarch following the death of my older brother several years ago.  Early in 2018, his daughter, Leigh, who was in her late 20's, told me that she thinks of me as a wise person and asked me to write down for her the sources of my wisdom: who and what had influenced me.  It's a good question and a timely one as I was diagnosed that summer with stage IV prostate cancer and told I had two years to live.  Cataloging the sources of my wisdom became part of a healing process that has rendered my cancer dormant.  It’s my hope that the fruits of this healthy process will benefit Leigh, and maybe, if it's interesting enough, a few others.

 

In the pages that follow, I’ll share with you the wisdom of the many people who influenced me.  Some are family members, others are teachers, coaches, and friends while others are some of the greatest social influencers I’ve been lucky enough to come across.

 

One of the earliest bits of wisdom came from my father’s father, Antonio Maneri:

 

Listen to your body

My grandfather lived to be nearly 101. I remember visiting one time (he was 96) when he was happily living in his Brooklyn apartment on Rogers avenue -- the top floor of the walk-up.  Curious about his longevity, I asked him what he ate.  He had an egg and toast every morning -- yes, he ate the yolk!  A salad for lunch and then nearly every night he'd have chicken and a small amount of pasta.  I asked him if he got bored with the same food.  Pop said that as he aged and foods started to trouble his stomach, rather than trying to find ways to keep eating those things, he simply eliminated them from his diet.  Obviously, living to his age, he was right about those choices.  Oh, and every day he had a shot of bourbon for his heart and one small glass of wine with dinner.  He also went for a walk everyday and said hello to his neighborhood friends.  And he didn't hold grudges.  Or worry about the things he couldn't control.  In other words, he did all things you're supposed to do to live to be 100.

 

Given the genes of our grandfather and an Aunt who lived to be 104, why did my brother die at 61 while I myself was given a somewhat early death sentence?  What I’ve learned is that we can’t rely on our genes, that what we need to do -- as my Grandfather showed -- is listen to our bodies.  Yet how did this poorly educated man from Sicily know how to extend his life?  I think it comes down to wisdom.

 

I won’t bore you with the details of my life, but I will share with you here some of the wisdom I “rediscovered” as I answered my niece’s question and began my process of healing.  Psychologists say that a life story grounds your experience in basic values and beliefs.  In taking stock of my life, what I rediscovered was this:  we are all deeply interconnected on levels of which we aren’t even aware.  

 

If we can raise awareness of how we’re connected, we’ll each make this world a better place for ourselves and, in turn, all of those around us.  That’s the power of shared wisdom.